Wager of 2011

My life has been, & is, anything but ordinary. I like it this way. One of my little’s, Donny, has a similar aspect to his life. (Before everyone starts asking what I mean by “little”, if you do not know, I will not tell you. & do not ask. Be a trooper & find out on your own. I mean this in the nicest way possible because I just do not like explaining it.)

Well, with that said about my life & Donny’s life, why not make it interesting? We have entered into a wager for 2011. Between Donny & I, the person who has the best story for 2011, that has to happen in its entirety from January 1st 2011 to December 31st 2011, wins.

Wins what you ask?
Why a full liter bottle of Jack Daniels of course. (Provided by the loser. This is in no way sponsored or endorsed by Jack Daniels...although that would be AMAZING!)

What are the parameters?
Glad you asked!
---In 2011, live your life to the fullest & have great stories to tell from it. Preferably a top three. With details. (Names can be changed to protect the awesome.)
---Sometime after January 1st 2012, Donny’s & Christofer’s top three stories will be compared.
---If there is not a definite winner, which how Donny & Christofer like to debate, there will not be, a panel of judges will decide.
---Stories must be able to be verified if someone calls bullsh*t. Which we will most likely call bullsh*t on eachother at least twice.

Who are these panel judges you speak of?

Well so far we have Adam. We have also stated that two of the judges should be strangers to both of us so it is a fair judging. (Adam has already stated his vote could be bought.) Both Donny & Christofer must agree to each judge before they are accepted.

Panel Judges:

1) Adam C.
2) Jon M.
3) Yet To Be Named
4) Stranger Yet To Be Named
5) Stranger Yet To Be Named

How will these judges judge the stories?

I have no idea. We have a year. I am sure they can come up with a few categories, assign points, & vote. It is not rocket science...unless one of our stories involved Kennedy Space Center & a mission launch. Just sayin...

How does one become a judge?
I do not know. But you can follow me (Christofer) on twitter @CRGutekunst & Donny @DonnyInitiative in attempts to befriend us & weasel your way onto the panel. Who knows, we may expand the panel to more than five members. We have a year to break amend the rules.



*Update 01-17-2011 Jon added as a judge.

I Do Not Own A TV

Many people do not believe me when I say this. But I do not, & have not, owned a TV since August of 2000. & yes, there is a story behind this.

May of 2000 I was moving out of the dorms & did not want to lug the 25 inch TV I had in my dorms back home. Since I was moving in to the fraternity house that fall, I decided to leave it there till the fall. Now, this was not your flat screen LCD 25 inch TV. It was an old wood box tube TV that weighed about a lot.

When I got to the house, I ran into one of my fraternity brothers Zack. Now Zack did not have a TV in his room. We quickly came to the arrangement that he could use my TV till I moved in & he would help me carry it to the third floor when I moved it. Perfect.

Fast-Forward to August when I move in.

Zack & I carry this beast of a TV up three flights of stairs to my room. It was not fun. After I get everything set up, I move the TV where I want it & run the cable, turn it on & everything is good.

About two weeks after that, I go to watch TV in my room for the first time. I turn it on, hear a "poof" noise & see a flash of white from the tube. It died. So I call my dad who says, "That thing is older than you, throw it out & we will get you a new one."

So, being who I am, I decide to have fun getting rid of the tv. I go across the hall when Rick's room was. I just say, "I need some help moving my TV."

Rick comes across the hall expecting to move the TV down the stairs & notices I already have it by the window. The open window. With the screen removed. On the fourth floor. Rick just smiled.

We get the bulking TV up on the ledge then Rick peeks out. "Clear!"

We push I watch. Just then, the back door opens & Justin walks out.

CrAsH!!!

Luckily it landed about ten feet away from Justin. He looked up & started cursing us & saying we needed to clean it up.


Now I was supposed to get a new TV, but my car ended up needing work so instead of a new TV, I got my car fixed. I have not owned a TV since.

New Year Resolutions 2011

New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Don’t die in 2011
I try to make this a resolution every year. My friends who know me know that I tend to do off the wall things sometimes. They have also told me that I am most likely going to die by my own hands. (examples: I have hit 150 mph on a Yamaha R1 & 160 mph in my Audi TT.) I have no problem with this, as long as it is fun. But I would like it to NOT be in the near future.

2. Go to a beach on east coast & west coast
I figured it would be somewhat of an achievement to say that I have been on a beach on each coast in a year. Plus I have friends I want to visit on each coast. So why not?

3. Really, don’t die in 2011!
Just a friendly reminder of #1, cause I need it.

4. Do a random act of kindness once a month
Many times people take things for granted. Have you ever seen someone struggling with luggage or groceries? See someone broken down on the side of the road? If you were ever in that situation, what would you give for someone to stop & help you? I plan on keeping my eyes open for these situations &, once a month being that person that offers the helping hand to someone in need.

5. Do Stand Up
I have had people tell me I am funny. But these people know me. What would a group of strangers think? Why not find out. What is the worst that can happen?

6. Avoid Crown Royal at all costs.
Thanks to Khieu, I have ingested more than enough Crown Royal 3-4 ounces at a time. My stomach cringes at the smell of it now. No more Crown Royal for a longtime my friends.

7. Do not drink till my birthday in 2011
I have done this before. Once was in college to put myself in check, the other times was to get back in shape. This is one of those get-back-in shape/apologize-to-my-liver times. Plus I could use a good break. The time from January first till my birthday is not short, but not too long. So I think it will be plenty of time. Plus, who doesn’t want a drink or two on their birthday? P.S. Props to you if you know my birthday.

8. Get another tattoo
I have one tattoo. I got it August of 2000. I have wanted another one since. I have two that I will definitely get, one is my family shield that I will show people, the other one will be hidden & no one will know I got it unless they see it. THAT tattoo is for me & me alone because I do not think anyone understands.


I think that is it, but I might add more in a few days.

A College Story

So while in college, I lived in the fraternity house I was a member of. A lot of insane events took place there, but this is one of my favorites.

The one evening, there was a few of us sitting around one of the main rooms discussing the odd alcohol related items we have seen. This included to custom beerpong tables, beer bongs, different types of shot glasses, ice luges, etc. Now Josh, who is still a good friend of mine, had the room next to mine on the second floor & was a part of this discussion.

Two days later, Josh comes down the stairs into the main room with a grin on his face. After questioning him about it, all he said was this.

“I have a package being shipped here. When it arrives, nobody open it. Just set it in the front room for me so it will be like Christmas morning when I see it.”

& about two days later, guess what arrived. A rather large, rather heavy, brown box. When Josh got back from class later that day, he was excited. How excited? Imagine Charlie Sheen being handed four eight balls of cocaine by two strippers & two porn stars with the President of the United States right behind them saying, “Hey Charlie, no matter what happens, I will pardon you. So have at it!”

That excited.

When Josh opened it up, inside was a Jagermeister machine. Yes kids, one of these.



Now Josh & I always made sure our rooms were stocked for parties, this just upped the ante. I am not 100% sure on the numbers, but I estimate that over the next month, Josh had to have spent around $1,500 on Jagermeister & Redbull.
People would be back & forth doing shots of Jack Daniels or Bacardi in my room, to Jager-Bombs in his room. Needless to say, that semester was somewhat of a blur. It was also the semester that, during a party, I walked into my room to find about ten people partying it up with my bosses boss.

But THAT my friends, is another story!