There are always the questions people randomly ask to try & get to know others. If you could eat dinner with anyone, who would it be? If you could fight anyone, who would it be? (Thank you Fight Club.) If you were trapped on a deserted island, what three items would you bring?
Well I have one of my own. Over the course of your life, who would you like to get drunk with? I like to use this one because there is no limit. I do not ask which one person. It could be five, fifty or however many you can think of. Below are my people (in no particular order).
Conan O’Brien:
We could commentate on everything happening at the bar, & interview random people for the hell of it.
Pat Wentz: (Kent State Social Monster, & now Columbus, Ohio resident.)
I have already gotten drunk with him many times & hey, why not one more?
Chelsea Clinton:
Her & I have the same birthday. Like same day, same year. I almost sent a letter to the White House inviting her to celebrate her 21st with me at Kent State.
Boris Spassky: (Russian Chess champion who was beat by Bobby Fisher)
Take the collapse of Russia, the loss of the Cold War, & put that into a man who was beat by a child at a sophisticated game of intellect. I am sure he as a few stories to share over some vodka.
Joan of Arc:
Uhm, she led an army to key victories during the 100 years war, I am sure she can lead one hell of a bar crawl, & can handle her own in a bar fight!
Ellen Degeneres:
If she is that upbeat & outgoing sober, imagine how much more she would be after a few shots?
Ashton Kutchner:
He is a prankster who is all about having fun. Plus we have a mutual friend we could share stories about.
Ke$ha:
One condition: She has to START sober!
Wyatt Earp:
OK Corral anyone?
Tiger Woods:
Bars have Golden Tee, & that would be my only chance to beat him at golf. Bonus: Every time he looks at a girl I get to say: “I am going to tell Elin!”
Lady Gaga:
This would be anything but normal, & nothing short of awesome.
Al Gore:
We would play the card game “Bullshit”. & no matter what he said, I would call bullshit the entire game, every time.
Betty Ford:
So I can say, “I got drunk with Betty Ford” & enjoy the irony of the statement.
Tom Cruise:
I would just love to hear his drunken rants & what is on his mind.
M.C. Escher:
How & why he came about his images he created.
Don “Mr. Wizard” Herbert
Could you imagine the bar tricks this guy has?
Dale Carnegie:
Talk about the ultimate wing man.
Who would you want to get drunk with & why?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
That Man
So today I was at Marc's (think of Wal*Mart, but local, cheaper, & shady) & when I was walking down an aisle, there was an unfit mother yelling at her child. How was she unfit? Not because she was yelling at her child, but by what she was saying.
True, she did have a high pitched banshee like scream that would make ANY child, man, or woman run away. I almost turned around halfway down the aisle to avoid the whole scene because of her yells, but unfortunately, I continued onward. As I walked by I heard, along with probably every other customer in Marc's, her berating her child to stay close & don't get lost because there are bad people in this world. She specifically mentioned murderers & kidnappers.
At this point I realized my mistake in not turning around halfway down the aisle.
As I walked by her eyes darted at me. I did not make eye contact, just looked forward beyond what was happening, when she pointed at me, looked at her child, & said the following:
"Like him. That man is going to kidnap you if you don't stay close to me."
Really?!?! I mean, REALLY?!?!?! I do not think, nor has anyone ever mentioned to me ever, that I resemble any sort of kidnapping type. & great parenting by the way. I wonder how many other complexes & fears you are going to give your child over the next few years?
Just because your child will not listen to you, & you are frustrated about it, does not mean you get to point me, someone you do not know, out as a kidnapper to your child, let alone an entire store!
I paused for a second, was about to say something, but then kept my mouth shut & kept walking. I could easily see the child start to cry/scream/whatever at the thought of me, the kidnapper, coming at him, & then his howling banshee of a mother start to yell at me for causing her child’s distress & panic. I had my items to purchase already, so I just walked away to the cash register.
Sad part is, the child still did not listen. As I was being rung out by the cashier, I heard the banshee scream, "What did I tell you!!! He will get you if you don't stay by me!!!"
Part of me wanted to go find the isle the mother & child was in, stand at the end of it with the meanest face I could make, & just point at the child. But I figured that the next ten plus years of that child’s life with the banshee was going to be hard enough, why give him a kidnapping complex as well.
True, she did have a high pitched banshee like scream that would make ANY child, man, or woman run away. I almost turned around halfway down the aisle to avoid the whole scene because of her yells, but unfortunately, I continued onward. As I walked by I heard, along with probably every other customer in Marc's, her berating her child to stay close & don't get lost because there are bad people in this world. She specifically mentioned murderers & kidnappers.
At this point I realized my mistake in not turning around halfway down the aisle.
As I walked by her eyes darted at me. I did not make eye contact, just looked forward beyond what was happening, when she pointed at me, looked at her child, & said the following:
"Like him. That man is going to kidnap you if you don't stay close to me."
Really?!?! I mean, REALLY?!?!?! I do not think, nor has anyone ever mentioned to me ever, that I resemble any sort of kidnapping type. & great parenting by the way. I wonder how many other complexes & fears you are going to give your child over the next few years?
Just because your child will not listen to you, & you are frustrated about it, does not mean you get to point me, someone you do not know, out as a kidnapper to your child, let alone an entire store!
I paused for a second, was about to say something, but then kept my mouth shut & kept walking. I could easily see the child start to cry/scream/whatever at the thought of me, the kidnapper, coming at him, & then his howling banshee of a mother start to yell at me for causing her child’s distress & panic. I had my items to purchase already, so I just walked away to the cash register.
Sad part is, the child still did not listen. As I was being rung out by the cashier, I heard the banshee scream, "What did I tell you!!! He will get you if you don't stay by me!!!"
Part of me wanted to go find the isle the mother & child was in, stand at the end of it with the meanest face I could make, & just point at the child. But I figured that the next ten plus years of that child’s life with the banshee was going to be hard enough, why give him a kidnapping complex as well.
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